Tonight, the twistiest, pulpiest, best primetime soap I've ever seen came in for a crash landing in the Season 4 and series finale, "Two Graves". I've sung the praises of this show in real life more so than online, because the "surprised and delighted reaction GIF" thing isn't what I do here, and that's really all I had to say about the show until tonight. I went in optimistic, believing that "Victoria is alive!" wasn't going to be the last twist and turn for "Revenge". My predictions were as follows: Jack, David, and Margaux die. Victoria lives, but is left alone to rot after Louise finally figures out she's a duplicitous demon. Ems/Amanda ends up equally alone and hollow, her quest finished but leaving her without any of the people she ever really loved.
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This was not a show that wanted or deserved the mega-happy ending from Wayne's World. But, god dammit, that's what we got. Here's some scene-specific thoughts:
-Victoria's conversation with her dying mother was pointless. The shocker that Victoria's father raped her certainly got my attention, but it would have carried more weight if it had anything to do with anything. And the debate over who was the better mother was kind of insane, in a bad way. I guess Victoria's sense of posh superiority was genetic.
-Amanda pleads guilty to Victoria's murder, because Nolan hacked the maximum-security prison and can get her out of there. Because Nolan. I didn't mind this one. "Because Nolan" has made for plenty of good action and intrigue throughout the four years.
-Louise's words at Victoria's funeral set her up for a quick turnaround a few minutes later. Victoria attending her own funeral is classic Victoria. That's why she's my favorite, and has been since episode one. Charlotte and Patrick skipping the funeral was predictable. I wish Charlotte had played a bigger role in these last few episodes somehow.
-Jack and Amanda finally get busy, in Victoria's mother's house. Very weird and very sweet.
-Louise is overjoyed at discovering Victoria is still alive, and then switches sides and sells her out a few minutes later. I thought Louise wasn't crazy anymore! This was what I was hoping for out of Louise, but it was more than a little nonsensical. She was such a good character, up until that little bit of plot convenience.
-Courtney Love , aka "White Gold", almost kills Jack, but the SWAT team interrupts. This is where Amanda goes from planning to expose Victoria to planning to kill her. Like it could end any other way. They double down on Amanda's mistress of disguise shtick, which is at least entertaining.
-Nolan talking Margaux into doing the right thing in the end was a disservice to both characters. Nolan deserved another superhero turn, and Margaux deserved a bullet in the head. But hey, at least they got Courtney Love off the streets! Also, the best line of the episode: "You know the best thing about white gold? It's a great conductor. *TAZER!*" I hope if my hand is ever pinned to a bar with a knife, I'm half as witty as Nolan Ross.
-David shoots Victoria right before Amanda was about to. That's okay, although really, it's not like that would ever absolve Amanda. Accessory to murder much? Then with her dying breath, Victoria shoots Amanda, but not fatally. Also boo. If Jack doesn't die, and if Victoria has to die, Amanda should not get to live. This is the "good guys win" ending, but with Amanda as the good guy. That's bullshit. Jack was the only innocent in this entire series. Maybe Louise. Maybe.
-David serves no jail time, because Amanda needs to have everything work out perfectly for her. The transition from complex anti-hero to Mary Sue in Princess World was pretty damn abrupt.
-Nolan, as always, is super sweet and super honest as he and Amanda talk for the last time. Also good that he gets to keep playing cyberspy after Amanda's gone. I liked that.
-The whole wedding, the golden retriever puppy, sailing off into the sunset.... I object. This is not how the show should have ended. Jack recounting the trail of bodies Amanda and Victoria left in their wake AT THE DAMN WEDDING just reinforces my position. So much happy for a woman who deserves none of it. I was hoping for the American History X bleeding out on the bathroom floor after learning too late that "hate is baggage" ending, but nope. Hate is rewarded, hate is win. Were people rooting for Amanda? This much? Is this what people wanted to see?
-No, Charlotte did not give Victoria's heart to Amanda.
Now I need to find something equally twisty, sexy, and well-written. I don't think I ever will.
