2015 Music: The Top Ten Songs

The time has come for 2014 Song of the Year winners Against Me! to pass the torch to the next recipient. In the event that said recipient cannot uphold the duties and honors of the station, it will revert to David Hasselhoff until such time as a replacement can be named.

When I can, I like to include ten different bands in my top ten songs, and we didn't really have a dominant album this year. So with apologies to the acts who probably could have had two songs each, here it comes. So long, 2015.

10. Veruca Salt- Laughing in the Sugar Bowl

I love Nina Gordon, and I want you to love her too. But Louise Post takes the lead on this one, and it's easily the best track from "Ghost Notes": Two minutes of joyous alt-rock that I've been sorely missing for the past seventeen years. It's so quintessentially Veruca Salt that I can even forgive the B-52's reference.

9. The Front Bottoms- Plastic Flowers

When I listen to the Front Bottoms, I think of Roger Clyne and the Peacemakers. They're not really alike musically, but I just get the feeling that Front Bottoms concerts are a lot like Roger's shows: a little room full of people drinking beer and/or tequila, all singing along to every song, enjoying the experience fully. "Plastic Flowers" is the song that brings that atmosphere to life no matter where you are when you hear it. It's also got one of the funniest damn interludes I've ever heard. Advice rarely comes so noncommittally.

8. Courtney Barnett- Pedestrian At Best

This was a "love at first listen" song for me. It looks and sounds like something from 1995 that you'd see at 12:30 AM on MTV and then later wonder if it ever really happened. Then it drops through a time rift fully formed, Australian, and utterly out of context in 2015. "I'm a fake. I'm a phony. I'm awake. I'm alone. I'm homely. I'm a Scorpio." You're also alternative as fuck, and I love it, Courtney.

7. The Vaccines- Handsome

It's been many years since I cared about music videos, and this list is about the songs themselves, but the above video happened and I can't not talk about it. Anyone else who's considering making a music video should just watch this and pack it in, saying "Well, someone beat us to the kung fu alien bar brawl with Japanese subtitles. Guess we can't make a video now." But I loved the song before I even saw it, because weird egotistical pseudo-ska songs are a good thing. So on the list it stays.

6. Frank Turner- Love Forty Down

I listened to as much Frank Turner as anything else in 2015, because I had a few previous albums to get to know in addition to the new one. As I said in my albums post, I'm pretty happy with "Positive Songs for Negative People". Frank Turner's not okay with complacence and it's kind of inspiring to me. This song is about testing yourself, and not accepting defeat, to find out if you've improved yourself enough. I think the answer is almost always no.

5. CHVRCHES- Never Ending Circles

Most of the time, I sit down to make these lists and it all ends up looking the same. Punk. Alternative rock. Brit rock. Riot grrl. If any grunge bands put stuff out, they get a slot too. I don't know if this is a trend, a sea change, or just a fluke, but CHVRCHES  had made the list twice in three years with pure electronic pop. If they do this a couple more times, I'm going to have to start considering Lauren Mayberry as one of my all-time favorite singers. The music is what it is, I don't love or hate it, but those lyrics and that voice. I can't get enough. I went with "Never Ending Circles" over the other really good songs from "Every Open Eye" because it was the one that resonated the most with me, but if this does anything for you, just get the album already. It's all this good.

4. Birdcloud- No Worries

After seeing them open for Roger in November and meeting Mackenzie Green afterward, I thought it through and decided that Birdcloud has a plan for me, and it would be for the best if I was open to it. I hope one day all of you can let Birdcloud into your hearts too, and then there will be love and joy. And infinite Miller Lite. Do you like profanity? Are you a binge drinker? How about cocaine, do you like cocaine? Are you really, really, super comfortable with your body and all its parts and functions? If you answered yes to some or all of these questions, then you already know Birdcloud and Birdcloud loves you. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some pamphlets that need handing out.

3. Idlewild- Radium Girl

In my albums post, I focused mostly on what was wrong with Idlewild's new album, because I hold my favorite bands to a higher standard. In this post, I want to share all that is right with "Everything Ever Written", and here it is. "Radium Girl" is probably in my top 3 Idlewild songs ever, and that's high praise since they were my favorite band as recently as two years ago. I considered using the video of the band playing it at Bottom Lounge and me completely losing my mind a few feet away, but I want you to be able to hear the song itself. You're welcome.

2. Dead Sara- Radio One Two

Dead Sara deserves all the credit in the world for making a rock album in "Pleasure to Meet You" that was diverse, interesting, consistently excellent, and moving. But when a band does punk as well as they do, I can't imagine why they'd bother with proficiency in other genres. Good for them, seriously, but nothing beats punk.

1. Third Eye Blind- Shipboard Cook

So it's not a huge surprise that we have a repeat winner of my Song of the Year in 2015. Local H, Idlewild, and The Wonder Years all put out albums this year, after all. But it's Third Eye Blind, whose 1999 win for "Slow Motion" was preceded by top 3 finishes in '97 and '98, that had my favorite song of 2015. Third Eye Blind, who I last took seriously when I was 18, who I last really enjoyed when I was 21. Third Eye Blind, the band that might break up any day since Stephan Jenkins is sick of making albums, but had enough of their peculiar brand of awesomeness left over to write this one song. "Shipboard Cook" takes all the best parts of what Third Eye Blind has ever done- sincerity filtered through a massive ego, an insatiable need for attention, great choruses, accidentally brilliant lyrics alternating with terrible goth-kid-poetry style lyrics- turns them up to 11, and blows them out like there's no tomorrow. Because for Third Eye Blind, there really might not be a tomorrow. If this is it, then "Line 'em up, boys, here's to your youth/ Sing loud enough to tell the truth" is how I choose to imagine one of the most-loved bands of my adolescence saying goodbye. So congratulations, Stephan. You're a lyrical blind squirrel and you found yourself one last nut. Until I see you again in 2032, thanks for this one.

2015 Music: The Top Ten Albums

Last year, I managed to write a little bit about every new album I listened to in 2014. That's not happening for 2015, because I don't feel like doing a top 55 list. But after casting a wide net (Thanks, Wikipedia!) and giving every one of those 55 multiple chances, I'm pretty solid with a top ten. Well, not quite. The EP at number 11 needs to make this post somehow. What the hell, let's just make it a top 10 and a half this year...

10.5. Birdcloud- Tetnis

...Because there's no way I could leave Birdcloud off this list. Sure, Tetnis is only six songs and about 15 minutes of music. It's also true that neither band member is an especially good singer. But there used to be a void in my life, and Birdcloud filled it. Profane, trashy, twangy, sexy grrl-country about interracial dating, female wet dreams, public binge drinking, and innovative ways to ingest cocaine is something I never have to be without again. And for that, I am eternally grateful. Highlights: No Worries; Boy; I Like Black Guys.

10. Third Eye Blind- Dopamine

As I recently wrote, Third Eye Blind is a nostalgia band for me and all their other fans. I was 15 when they hit it big, but that's not the only reason. So much of their music, even dating back to the first album, is about wanting to go back. With "Dopamine" rumored to be the last Third Eye Blind album, it's to be expected that Stephan Jenkins would indulge his Jay Gatsby persona and give it a good sendoff. "Dopamine" unfortunately lack the barely-self-aware melancholy that made the first two albums so effective. Most of the new stuff comes off as a genre-sampling, vacant, whiny mess. But Jenkins, one of the most baffling, confounding songwriters I have ever explored, still manages to hit a few home runs amidst all the strikeouts. "Dopamine" contains three of the best songs, by anyone, of the year. It also has nine pieces of hot garbage. What can you do with that? I guess I rank it tenth. Highlights: Shipboard Cook; Dopamine; Everything is Easy.

9. Ash- Kablammo!

This is the first band on this list that I discovered on Wikipedia's "new 2015 albums" page, but they won't be the last. Turns out Ash, a Northern Irish alt-rock trio, had been making music for over 20 years before I ever heard of them. I liked "Kablammo!" immediately because it reminded me of Weezer, but with more depth. I kept listening to it all year because it doesn't have a bad song on it. Not everything has to be life-changing, open to interpretation, and worthy of dissection. Sometimes a good rock record is just that, and that's enough. Highlights: Machinery; Let's Ride; Go! Fight! Win!.

8. The Wonder Years- No Closer to Heaven

I badly wanted The Wonder Years' follow-up to 2013's "The Greatest Generation" to be another masterpiece, because if it was, it would be easy to put them at the top of some hierarchy that exists only in my head. Sadly, I have to be aware of nuance here, because "No Closer to Heaven" isn't a masterpiece. Musically, it's right on par with the band's previous work. The verses still sound right at home in a tiny punk club, and the choruses still belong in stadiums. Frontman Dan Campbell's voice is still perfect for his "today-I-learned" lyrics. It also gets profound, if not as often as "The Greatest Generation", where every single song was an epiphany. "No Closer to Heaven" focuses more on social issues than internal ones, but it still gives us gems like "We're no saviors if we can't save our brothers", "John Wayne with a God complex tells me to buy a gun/ like shooting a teenage kid is gonna solve any problems", and, most poignantly, "You were the one thing I got right". Even if it wasn't love at first listen this time, The Wonder Years still ooze wisdom and sincerity, and I'm still into that. Even if I like it better when they don't get their lyrics from progressive news websites. Highlights: Cardinals; Cigarettes & Saints; Thanks For the Ride.

7. Idlewild- Everything Ever Written

As I wrote in my third concerts post, the return of Idlewild was my single most anticipated musical moment of 2015. Like The Wonder Years, it's hard to write about because of the comparisons my brain makes on its own, but unlike The Wonder Years, Idlewild's legacy brings a decade's worth of brilliant albums instead of just one. After their five-year hiatus, 2015 finds Roddy Woomble and friends continuing a progression away from raging guitar rock and toward quiet contemplative alt-folk. This isn't altogether a bad thing. Roddy is monk-caliber at quiet contemplation, and the combination of his voice and his lyrics will always amaze me. Plus, I still get one headbanging song, "On Another Planet", so hey, better than nothing. The downside is, I have Roddy's solo career to fill my need for sincere Scotsmen with stunningly beautiful souls singing Americana-style music. I want Idlewild to take advantage of their instruments that need to be plugged in, otherwise what was the point of reuniting the band? Even if it's a natural and straight-line progression from "Make Another World" to "Post-Electric Blues" to "Everything Ever Written", I can't pretend I'm fine with the new one not sounding like Idlewild. Roddy also loses significant points for ripping off Michael Sembello's "Maniac" on "Left Like Roses" in a pretty noticeable and unavoidable way. That's why this album lands outside of the top five. Highlights: Radium Girl; On Another Planet; Utopia.

6. Sleater-Kinney- No Cities to Love

By the time I discovered Sleater-Kinney, they had already been broken up for five years, and I consumed their music without context. That led to some weird preferences- Give me "Dig Me Out", "Call the Doctor", or "All Hands on the Bad One" any day, but you can keep the rest. I'm happy to report that their reunion album, "No Cities to Love", is nearly everything I hoped it would be. It doesn't try to get art-rocky, and it's not raw to the point of unlistenability. It's just ten sweet riffs with scream-along choruses and the weird but addictive vocal combination of Carrie Brownstein and Corin Tucker. I would have liked a new introspective quiet song to go along with my favorites "Buy Her Candy", "Leave You Behind", and "The Swimmer", but instead we get a half hour of pure straightforward rock. Ten basic, essential, and most importantly new Sleater-Kinney songs. I'll take it and like it. Highlights: Hey Darling; Surface Envy; Bury Our Friends.

5. Veruca Salt- Ghost Notes

If Idlewild's resurrection was my most-anticipated music of 2015, the return of Veruca Salt's original lineup for their first new album in 18 years was a close second. While "reunited 90's icon of radio-friendly girl-rock" didn't have the same cache for me that "Roddy's back in Idlewild?!" had, I will say that Veruca Salt delivered on my expectations and then some. What impressed me most about "Ghost Notes" is that it feels like they bottled all the momentum they had after "Volcano Girls" became huge, stuck it in the back of a freezer, and broke it out almost two decades later. Nina and Louise still harmonize magically, they still walk that hyper-expressive sexy-confident-powerful-girly-vulnerable-all-at-the-same-time line that made their earlier stuff so successful, and they still write big rock-out hooks that sound even better now that they're not being drowned out by countless 90's bands trying to do the exact same thing. But the nicest thing I can say about "Ghost Notes" is the simple fact that it's my favorite Veruca Salt album. There was a conscious need to stuff as many singles on "American Thighs" as possible, and then there was some filler. "Eight Arms to Hold You" was uneven and edgy in all the wrong places. "IV" doesn't count. "Ghost Notes" replaces all that mess with a security and confidence in who Veruca Salt is. There was no pressure involved in the making of this album, and it shows. Instead of writing songs for the radio, they could write them for themselves and their fans, and that led to an album where the songs all get to be great in their own way, not just the way Q101 would want. Highlights: Laughing in the Sugar Bowl; Prince of Wales; Come Clean, Dark Thing.

4. Frank Turner- Positive Songs for Negative People

Frank Turner was my big musical discovery for 2015, like Against Me! and The Gaslight Anthem in 2014 and 2013, respectively. He's folk-punk, which puts his music right in the middle of my happy place, but there's a lot of cleverness and thoughtfulness in his music that makes each of his albums worth revisiting. I spent the first half of the year obsessing over "Tape Deck Heart" and how it motivated me. The second half of the year brought me "Positive Songs for Negative People", and I embraced that too. It's a little bit lighter and poppier than his previous stuff. "Out of Breath" and "Josephine" still rock reasonably hard, but you'll struggle to find anything punk about "Get Better", "The Next Storm", and the rest. That doesn't make these songs any less brilliant, though. Frank Turner is a narrative songwriter, driven by self-awareness and a constant need for self-improvement. Much of his lyrical content is about hating his own flaws and attacking them relentlessly, and that means I find "Positive Songs" inspiring from beginning to end. Like a self-help book for crowd surfers. Or cult literature for people with tattoos. Highlights: Love Forty Down, Demons, The Next Storm.


3. The Front Bottoms- Back On Top

Here's the second band on the list I discovered because of Wikipedia. "Back on Top" is the band's first album on a major label, which their fan base didn't like too much, but I can only speak to The Front Bottoms I know. They're a rock quartet from New Jersey, and they combine often hilarious lyrics with a few moments of insight, some gleefully delivered horrible lines ("Our love's the only thing that could matter/ Take me up and up and up like a ladder." What the hell?) and an occasional horn section or rap interlude. Needless to say, this was one of the biggest musical surprises of 2015 for me and every time I drafted this list, I just kept moving it up. Even including the two albums yet to come, I don't think I had as much fun listening to anything else this year. Just listen to "The Plan (Fuck Jobs)" or the spoken monologue on "Plastic Flowers" and try not to laugh out loud. But then there's "West Virginia" and "Cough it Out", which are just sad, revealing songs. I feel like I understand this band less and less the more I listen to them. I think I would like to see them live twenty times or so, and maybe then I can decide. Highlights: Plastic Flowers; 2YL; Laugh Till I Cry.

2. CHVRCHES- Every Open Eye

CHVRCHES broke out pretty big two years ago, but I valued that album mostly for the one song, "The Mother We Share". "Every Open Eye" takes the magic from that song, and applies it to fourteen tracks. While the songs are all kind of similar to each other- and after the best five or so, become interchangeable- the lyrics are better than the usual pop nonsense, and Lauren Mayberry's voice is perfect. The result is an irresistibly bright and shiny album that is nothing like anything else on this list. Hell, the last time I rated an electronic album this highly it was 2004 and I was hypnotized by The Postal Service, and I'll take Lauren Mayberry over The Postal Service's Ben Gibbard any day. When I decided this year I was going to have ten different bands/artists in my top ten songs, the hardest cut was which of three CHVRCHES songs was going to make the list. They're all so. Freaking. Good. Highlights: Make Them Gold; Never Ending Circles; Bow Down.

1. Dead Sara- Pleasure to Meet You

2015's best album comes from another band I found on Wikipedia, so thanks again for that, Wikipedia. Dead Sara is a quartet from Los Angeles, with a calling card of Emily Armstrong's raspy, rangy, incredible vocals. The album's center is a sort of blues-rock, but individual songs take it in any direction you could want- "Radio One Two" is a punk song. "Something Good" is blues. "Lovesick" is metal. "Mr. Mr." is a soul song. "For You I Am" is one of the best torch songs I've ever heard. Dead Sara made a rock record that touches so many sub-genres of rock, but holds together as a coherent whole because they're just a damn good band. The track that puts "Pleasure to Meet You" over the top isn't even my favorite song from the album. It's just the most interesting. "Greaser" takes Old Crow Medicine Show, Janis Joplin, and alt-rock guitars, throws them all in a blender, and adds the most incredible vocals I heard all year to make some kind of Americana blues-rock monster. If 2015 showed us one thing, it's that the old guard of rock goddesses aren't dead, but Emily Armstrong is the future. I for one welcome our new Californian overlords. Highlights: Radio One Two; Lovesick; For You I Am

Winning the Winter 2015-16: Part 1

I've got a week left to tweak my 2015 year in music posts: just like last year, one for the best albums, another for the best songs. Instead of writing nothing for the next week, I'm going to try to make a dent in this incredible Hot Stove season. Last year, we had Giancarlo Stanton, Jon Lester, Alex Anthopoulos, and Ben Cherington as the fuel for the fire. We probably won't see a $300M contract signed this winter, but we definitely have GMs ruining teams, star players traded for surprising returns, and aces taking the cash over the mystery box. Previous rules still apply: Every transaction has a winner, because otherwise, why bother. My sources of information are MLB.com, MLBTraderumors.com, and Baseball-Reference.com. My source of opinions is spending half my life as a baseball nerd. And a new rule I'm throwing in to entertain myself: I've come to believe that when everybody agrees on something, everybody is wrong. So every time the conventional wisdom is a little too unanimous, I'm gonna make like Homer:

 

Ready? Let's go. Welcome to Winning the Winter.

11/05/15: Seattle Mariners trade SS Brad Miller, 1B Logan Morrison and RHP Danny Farquhar to Tampa Bay Rays for RHP Nathan Karns, LHP C.J. Riefenhauser and CF Boog Powell. Because I guess Nick Franklin wasn't enough, the Rays had to go and get Seattle's other semi-useful young middle infielder? I think it's weird that a team that values and understands defense would get Miller and, at least for the moment, plan to use him as the starting shortstop. I guess Morrison is relevant too, in that he's likely to soak up a lot of at-bats as the big half of a mediocre DH platoon for the Rays. As far as I can tell, unless Miller has some power potential he hasn't told anyone about, this adds close to nothing to the Rays. In return, the Mariners got Karns, a pre-arb mid-to-back-end starting pitcher, as well as a solid prospect in Powell. Jerry Dipoto struck early, and got a modest but clear win to start his Seattle career.

11/11/15: Minnesota Twins trade OF Aaron Hicks to New York Yankees for C John Ryan Murphy. Kudos to the Twins for moving on from Kurt Suzuki behind the plate- Murphy is young and talented enough that it's not hard to envision him giving Minnesota some years as a quality starting catcher. Hicks was a highly regarded prospect himself who showed some improvement in 2015, but he has yet to break out and Byron Buxton is coming. A year ago, the Yankees traded a valid starting catcher for a middle reliever. This year, they got a fourth outfielder/Carlos Beltran injury insurance. Better, but still not great. I like this for the Twins.

11/12/15: San Diego Padres trade RHP Joaquin Benoit to Seattle Mariners for RHP Enyel De Los Santos and SS Nelson Ward. As we'll see later, every contending team is on the Royals-style bullpen bandwagon, and therefore, dominant relievers have seen their trade value get out of hand. This was the first shot fired in the Great Reliever War of late 2015: A live-armed teenager and a fringe infield prospect for one year of a 38-year-old fireballer. This probably doesn't matter beyond 2016. Pitchers like De Los Santos are lottery tickets, and Ward is whatever. But if the plan is for Benoit to be part of the Mariners' version of Herrera-Davis-Holland in the coming year, I'm skeptical. Preller gets the win here.

Atlanta Braves trade SS Andrelton Simmons and C Jose Briceno to Los Angeles Angels for SS Erick Aybar, LHP Sean Newcomb, RHP Christopher Ellis and cash. Okay, Hart and Coppolella. We get it- nobody gets to have pitchers except the Braves. And if we reduce everything down to WAR, then yeah, a combined twelve years of Newcomb and Ellis (plus a year of Aybar, which does have value) might be a fair return for five years of the modern day Ozzie Smith. If we use WAR per dollar, then you can even argue that the Braves won this trade. That's not the argument I'm going to make, though, because it's not one anyone outside of the Braves' front office believes. The Angels lack a true ace- which Newcomb might one day become- but Jerry Dipoto left them with enough pitching depth to withstand a trade like this. And when the return is a player with a truly unique skill set like Simmons, it's amazing that this was all it took. One of the winter's biggest wins thus far goes to The Red Team.

Atlanta Braves sign C A.J. Pierzynski, 1 year, $3M. 2015 was A.J.'s best year since his Palehose days, and turned it into another year in the bigs. Good for him! Maybe Tyler Flowers will be able to learn from him in a way that Christian Bethancourt could not. Or maybe A.J. finally gets severely beaten by an opposing player and his career ends. Either way, when A.J. is in the show, we're all winners.

11/13/15: San Diego Padres trade RHP Craig Kimbrel to Boston Red Sox for 3B Carlos Asuaje, SS Javier Guerra, LHP Logan Allen and CF Manuel Margot. Here's the biggest strike thus far in the Great Reliever War. The Red Sox surrendered a jaw-dropping package of prospects: two high-end up-the-middle guys, an 18 year old lefty with good control, and a future utility guy. In 2015, what does that get you? 3 years of an elite closer, that's what. The value question isn't even close. If either Guerra or Margot gets halfway to his ceiling, the Padres win in a walk. In the context of the current Red Sox, it makes a little sense. Ben Cherington hoarded prospects, spent big in Latin America, and left Boston with a major league team and farm system loaded with talent. What they didn't have was a bullpen. Dave Dombrowski simply paid the (insane) market price to add the most valuable reliever in baseball (Aroldis Chapman is a slightly better pitcher than Kimbrel, but he comes with less team control and potentially serious off-the-field issues.) When you can get your man, retain the up-and-coming major league core of Swihart, Bogaerts, Bradley, and Betts, and keep Yoan Moncada, Rafael Devers, Andrew Benintendi, and a passel of quality arms in the minors, you can't really call this a loss. Okay, Red Sox, I talked myself out of mocking this, but I have to give Preller the win here anyway. No closer is worth this, and putting this alongside his acquisition of Kimbrel from a year ago, it amounts to a purchase of prospects. That's exactly what he should be doing.

Blue Jays sign RHP Marco Estrada, 2 years, $26M. The Jays chose to put their money into rotation depth and bank on a strong comeback from Marcus Stroman, rather than retain the now-impossibly-rich David Price. It's not an inspiring strategy, but it's practical, and it's less likely to blow up in the team's face than overextending on one player. Welcome to the Mark Shapiro era, Toronto. You probably won't remember it once it's over. Out of context, I think this is just about right. Estrada is coming off a fine platform year, but he's 32, 2015 was his first full year in a major league rotation, and his peripherals aren't nearly as sexy as his 3.13 ERA or tenth-place Cy Young finish. Another odd piece of fallout from the Great Reliever War: The Jays appear committed to using their best non-Stroman young pitchers as their late-inning combo while stocking up on mid-rotation starters. They could have gone for the upside of Sanchez and/or Osuna in the rotation and spent the Estrada money on the back end of the bullpen. It says something about scarcity and supply and demand that a team is willing to put a high-ceiling prospect into the 8th inning, rather than give him every chance to turn into an ace.

11/14/15: Arizona Diamondbacks trade RHP Jeremy Hellickson to Philadelphia Phillies for RHP Sam McWilliams. A straight salary dump for Arizona, and a flyer on a guy who could be a July trade candidate if everything goes perfectly for Philadelphia. Hellickson set a career high in K/BB ratio in 2015, but he's still more expensive and not better than a random triple-A starter. Win to the D-Backs for not starting 2016 with this guy in the rotation.

11/16/15: Texas Rangers trade CF Leonys Martin and RHP Anthony Bass to Seattle Mariners for RHP Tom Wilhelmsen, CF James Jones and IF/OF Patrick Kivlehan. The overhaul of the Mariners continues here, and this is a good one. Martin is coming off a bad offensive season, but he's one of the best defensive center fielders in the game, he's controllable for three more years, and in the two seasons before 2015 his bat was good enough, combined with the glovework, to make him quite valuable. The Rangers chose Delino DeShields, Jr. over him, though, so the Mariners could reap the rewards. Wilhelmsen, the primary piece heading to Arlington, is now the fourth or fifth best reliever in a deep Texas bullpen. Either Texas is building up assets for a major trade, or they plan to win the Great Reliever War by having the biggest army. Either one would be interesting. I think it's pretty clear I'm scoring this as another Dipoto win, with the caveat that his own bullpen is a mess at this time.

11/18/15: Milwaukee Brewers trade RHP Francisco Rodriguez to Detroit Tigers for IF Javier Betancourt and C Manny Pina. Better late than never, the Tigers are taking their shot at building a bullpen. K-Rod, as he always does, struck out a lot of guys in 2015. He's under contract for two more years, and will pitch next season at 34. Betancourt, a 20-year-old second baseman, is a C prospect. Pina is a fringe catcher, included as a hedge against further concussion symptoms from Jonathan Lucroy. Add it up, and the Tigers managed to drastically underpay for a dependable late-inning reliever in the winter of 2015-16. Someone needs to throw Al Avila a parade immediately.

2015 Concerts, Part III: When I Hit The Floor I Don't Cry Anymore

We'll wrap up this series with a short one: my last two shows of 2015, the only ones of the year that fit the mold of $20 tickets, great but not-famous band, tiny room. Those shows used to be all I ever went to, and they're usually all I hoped they would be. I'm thinking baseball comes next- and oh, I have things to say- and I'll do my 2015 Year in Music posts sometime between Christmas and New Year's. Cool? Cool.

We start with Scottish/Irish alt rock band Idlewild, at Bottom Lounge. Idlewild and I have a long history. I saw them open for Pearl Jam in 2003, and I knew immediately that this was a band I needed to know. Then they put out the album "Make Another World" in 2007, and I started thinking that maybe they were the best band in existence. Then their next scheduled appearance in Chicago was cancelled when frontman Roddy Woomble broke his collarbone, followed closely by an announcement that the band was on hiatus. So I didn't think this night would ever happen. But there I was, in 2015, ready to see one of my top three favorite bands for the second time- but the first time that I knew their music. I made a bad choice in choosing a concert companion for this one, and it made the trip there and back a toxic nightmare, but it wasn't that hard to find the good in the experience. Being a few feet away from Roddy and his band while they played something close to a dream setlist was, in no uncertain terms, the good. I got "Radium Girl", and "Idea Track", and "Captain" followed by "El Capitan", and I was fanboying as hard as I could. Even in the back of the room, it would have been a religious experience, but I was right freaking there. No, really:

And the person standing behind me was getting video, so if you've ever wanted to see the back of The Everlasting Dave's head while he rocks his face off, it's your lucky day:

But even after seeing my top two bands, crossing a handful of punk bands off my concert bucket list, and being an adult enjoying myself fully at a Dashboard Confessional show, it just wouldn't be a concert year without good ol' Roger. This marked my eight Roger Clyne & the Peacemakers show (ninth if you count The Refreshments), my first trip to Subterranean, my birthday present to my mom, and the first concert where I didn't get to call my dad the next day and tell him how awesome it was. Which is too bad, because I think my dad would have enjoyed the opening act, Birdcloud. I'm not sure I can explain what Birdcloud is, nor why I love them so much. I guess I would call them an explicit, NC-17 country duo. Like Eminem, but twangy, and with lyrics about cocaine, binge drinking, and human anatomy. More on this in my year-end music post, but for now, suffice to say Mackenzie Green of Birdcloud is the most attractive human being I have ever met in person. And then there was Roger. I don't think he knows this, but when "I Don't Need Another Thrill" and "Hello New Day" are both within the first five songs, it's mathematically impossible for it to be a bad show. Also, during the first break in the action when everyone shouted out their requests, I was the lucky winner:

Mediocre sound quality aside, that's "Buffalo", folks. One of the greatest songs ever written, by anyone. And that's the best possible place to end this post.

2015 Concerts, Part II: This Night Is Gonna End When We're Damn Well Ready For It To Be Over

Among the firsts for me in 2015 was attending all three days of a music festival: Riot Fest Chicago at Douglas Park. There was mud, there were insanely long beer lines, and most importantly, there was a lineup of bands so incredible, I bought two three-day passes the day they went on sale. What follows comes mostly from emails I sent to friends and family after each day- so there will be some pics I took myself, but not so much YouTubing. It'll be as much running diary as anything else, as I saw a grand total of 20 bands over the three days. Here's the rundown.

I knew going in that Friday was going to be the best day, as the day ended with an insane four-band stretch that, barring huge surprises, would be the highlight of the weekend. For us, the day started at 2 PM with Fishbone. This started a theme for the weekend: Really good bands given early afternoon slots and not nearly enough time on stage. I'm not all that familiar with Fishbone's catalog, but as a long-time Sublime fan I could appreciate the dirty ska-punk and the cover of "Date Rape". The moment Fishbone left the stage, Living Colour went on on the next stage over, so I went over to the barricade and took this shot:

"Cult of Personality", and a bunch of songs that sound just like "Cult of Personality". Aw, yeah. Anything that reminds me of GTA: San Andreas will always be the best. After that, it was over to the other side of the park, where I paid half attention to Bayside and Every Time I Die while getting the best possible spot for my current favorite band...

That's right, wearing a super sweet "Gender is Over" top, it's Laura Jane Grace and Against Me!. I'm 2-for-2 in getting right up front during Against Me! sets, and I have every intention of making that 10-for-10 or so. They only got 45 minutes, but they didn't mess around- starting with True Trans Soul Rebel into Pints of Guinness Make You Strong into Unconditional Love into Walking is Still Honest. I mean, how do you beat that? Well, maybe by ending with a crowd-sized singalong of Black Me Out, Thrash Unreal, and I Was A Teenage Anarchist. They took me to church. No other way to put it. I consider myself very fortunate that every time I notice I've changed as a person, I luck into finding the band that speaks to what I've learned, as well as to how far I still have to go. The fact that Against Me! is that band for me, right now, is one of my favorite things about myself. After that, I took an hour to eat, drink, smoke- sorry Atreyu and Coheed and Cambria, you just aren't very good- and stake out a decent spot for Flogging Molly. This was Flog show #3 for me, and while I wouldn't go so far as to call them one of my favorite bands, they're consistent, fun, and some of the better performers I've seen. I love Dave King's charisma- constantly expressing his gratitude to be able to do what he does, without ever sounding disingenuous or obsequious- and the way Bridget Regan switches from fiddle to tin whistle and back again, never missing a beat. They rocked every minute of their hour, although I couldn't stay till the end. Another band on the other side of the park was beckoning, and besides, Flog had already played "Tobacco Island", so who cares what else they did? That other band I had to go see? Chicago's very own Alkaline Trio. Now, I haven't re-ranked my favorite albums of all time in a while, and it's possible that this is no longer true, but I think the Trio's "From Here to Infirmary" is still my #1. That album was the soundtrack to my mid-20's, and "Trucks and Trains" is still in my top 3 songs of all time. It was actually my hardest choice of the weekend- do you see Alkaline Trio or Faith No More in this time slot? I study Setlist.fm like it's my job, and I knew that Alkaline Trio wouldn't play a ton of stuff from the album I love, and I also knew that this was probably my last chance to see Faith No More. But in the end I went with the band I like more, and I'm happy with that. I did get Armageddon, Mr. Chainsaw, and- as the closer- Radio. So I was on some kind of high when I trekked back through the mud to the far corner of Douglas Park and the Roots stage, to catch my headlining act of choice: Ice Cube, with "special guests". I was hoping for Dre and did not get him, but there was MC Ren and DJ Yella, and there were a whole lot of white dudes unsure if they are allowed to yell certain words, even if they were just rapping along. I say yes, but honorable folk may differ. Anyway, once the "Straight Outta Compton" part of Ice's set was over, I decided to switch stages- basically turning around and walking 50 feet- and see how No Doubt was. My timing was perfect. I missed all the crappy No Doubt songs- there are plenty- I caught "Sunday Morning" and "Don't Speak", and I saw Gwen climb all the way up the side of the stage to sing "Just a Girl", before ending with "Spiderwebs". All the goodness possible in a No Doubt set, concentrated and delivered in a 20-minute burst. When the lights went out on that stage, I could hear Ice Cube ending his set with "It Was a Good Day". Damn right. It did kind of suck waiting for 80 minutes with everyone else to get on a Pink Line train, but for this night, it was worth it.

Day 2 was a shorter day for me, as we arrived later and didn't stay for the headliners. In fact, I probably would have sold my tickets to day 2 if it wasn't for one thing: Rancid was set to play "...And Out Come The Wolves" in its entirety as their set. The Everlasting Dave of 20 years ago would be so proud of me. We arrived too late to catch The Ataris, Gwar, The Joy Formidable and The Dead Milkmen, but we were just in time for Babes in Toyland, who I was unreasonably excited to see. I mean, Sleater-Kinney wasn't in the lineup, but Babes in Toyland are kind of like the bad-acid-trip psychotic version of S-K, right? I think they are. After that was Pennywise, another punk band I should probably know better than I do, but whatever. I can sing every word to Same Old Story and Bro Hymn and I'm not sure anyone needs to know more than that.

 

After this, I called an audible on my initial plan. I intended to see Echo & the Bunnymen, Bootsy Collins, and Merle Haggard all in a row- just to say I did exactly that- but it wasn't until ten minutes before Echo went on that I realized I knew zero songs and gave zero craps about any of those performers. Pennywise had me feeling the punk, so instead of that trip down someone else's memory lane, I caught half an hour of The Lawrence Arms and then staked my place at the tiny corner stages to see CIV. I knew just the one CIV song, but I like it, and the band has a pretty good reputation, so I talked myself into CIV being a rarer opportunity than the three acts I was blowing off. Maybe I was right, maybe I was wrong, but man, CIV rocked the tiny little group of people who were there to see them. The fun, the energy, the laid-back attitude with real punk rock behind it- this probably ended up being my third-favorite set of the whole weekend. Here's the part where Anthony Civarelli (far right) invited the women in the audience up on stage for "Set Your Goals".

After this, I did in fact set my goals: to be front and center while Rancid played the best album of the 90's in its entirety. I caught the end of Alexisonfire and the entirety of Drive Like Jehu while staking out my spot, but I don't remember a thing from either of them. What I do remember is how I felt when this happened:

Yes, that's just a guy doing a sound check, but that backdrop had just gone down, and it became real. I love a good headbang, and I enjoy a little folk rock as much as a person should, but there's nothing like a whole crowd of people singing along to punk songs so loud it drowns out the band. I was surrounded by people who love "...And Out Come The Wolves" just as much as I do, and it was a damn beautiful thing. It was also the end of our Day 2. After the Pink Line debacle of Day 1, our conclusion was that none of the headliners- Iggy Pop, Taking Back Sunday, or System of a Down- was worth that extra standing-and-waiting time, so we called it an early night to rest up for Sunday.

Now, the final day of 3. By this time every inch of Douglas Park smelled like a cow pasture and there was nowhere to walk without ankle-deep mud threatening to eat your shoes. But hey, bands were playing, tickets were bought and paid for, so why not? I made it a point to get there a little earlier on Sunday, because there was a solid list of bands I wanted to see. That list started at 2:15 with Hum, a 90's grunge band I remembered solely for their one modest hit "Stars".

It turns out most of Hum's songs sound exactly like "Stars", and that suited me just fine. After that came De La Soul, who spent just as much time demanding audience participation as they did performing. 

Then I slogged my way across the park to catch Less Than Jake, a ska-punk band I know mostly for their covers of other people's music. This was fun, though. I failed to get a good picture of it- I have no idea how- but Less Than Jake has a mascot. This is a guy in full costume who looks like a Bart Simpson/ Calvin/ Dennis the Menace hybrid and spends the set flipping off the crowd, grabbing his mascot crotch, and blasting the crowd with squirt guns. I was entertained. My pic, however, just shows the band. Sorry about that.

At this point, I had half an hour to kill, but since I decided not to drink on the last day I didn't have to stand in a beer line or a port-a-potty line. So instead I just turned around to the stage behind me, and was in a fine position to get a face full of sun and Kongos. I guess everyone knows their song "Come With Me Now", but I was more impressed with their "Come Together/ Gin and Juice" mashup.

Turning back around- It's truly amazing how long you can stand in one place when you don't have to buy beer or pee every 45 minutes- I got to experience something I never knew I needed: a live performance by Andrew W.K. 

The over-the-top energy, the ninja-girl backup vocalist who spends most of the set shadow kickboxing, the band's full commitment to not recognizing their own painfully obvious ridiculousness... Frankly, I loved it all. I didn't go out and fill up iTunes with Andrew W.K. music or anything, and in fact I would be fine if I never heard one of their songs again, but this was a fun way to spend 45 minutes. My next stop was across the park, where my plan was to move gradually forward throughout Cypress Hill, listen to the Airborne Toxic Event from the next stage over, and be in perfect position for Snoop Dogg, who was set to play "Doggystyle" in its entirety. Phase one was harder than expected, but I got it done, and Cypress Hill was awesome:

Phase two was also easily accomplished. I was dead center in front of the stage Snoop was set to take in just an hour, and I could hear the Airborne Toxic Event and see their big screens from the next stage over. So that was fine. With about twenty minutes before Snoop was scheduled to go on, my whole area was subsumed in a big ol' pot cloud. Everyone got good and stoned... And then Snoop was late. And then Snoop was later. If it hadn't been for THC, there would have been something approximating a riot, and as it was, there was still plenty of booing and angry chanting. Half an hour past his scheduled start time, an intro by Lady of Rage only made things worse. When Snoop finally took the stage, he blamed Riot Fest for not having his videoboard working, and instead of a full performance of a seminal 90's album, we got a medley of bits and pieces from across his career. The kind of thing you'll see if Snoop is playing regular Vegas matinees in 20 years. They cut his mic after about 25 minutes so headliners Modest Mouse could go on one stage over. Before that night, I had no idea it was possible to be stoned and indignant at the same time. It was a crap way to end an incredible weekend, but it could have been worse. I could have stuck around and watched the "classic electronica" of The Prodigy, or the general awfulness of Modest Mouse. I guess leaving on a bad note was going to happen no matter what. But they can't take Against Me!, Rancid, CIV, Alkaline Trio, or Andrew W.K. away from me. No, they cannot.

2015 Concerts, Part I: Praying That The Taps Will Keep The Holy Water Flowin'

[Note: What follows was mostly written in October, before a series of unfortunate events prevented me from writing for two months. The MLB Wrapup series I started with my last post is now pointless to finish, Winning the Winter is overdue but in the pipeline, and posts about 2015 music demand to be written at some point over the next two weeks. What follows is the start of the latter.]

This is the "something completely different" I mentioned a couple months ago: The year 2015 in the concert life of The Everlasting Dave. It was a year worth writing about, as I crossed a few bands off the top of my must-see list, saw some bands I hadn't seen in many years, and saw my two favorite bands for the second time each. Some people go to church every week. I go to a rock show every couple months. Best I can tell, there's no difference.

Our story begins in June with my first-ever trip to FirstMerit Bank Pavilion at Northerly Island to see suburban white girl rapper K-Flay, godfathers of emo Dashboard Confessional, and creepy uncles of emo Third Eye Blind. It rained hard all day and night- that's bad!- but they had reasonably priced Budweiser tallboys- that's good! I spent part of K-Flay's set in line to spend 40 bucks on a Dashboard Confessional hoodie, and I'll just call that time well spent, because "suburban white girl rapper" is not something I'm interested in in a post-Iggy Azalea world. I mean, K-Flay isn't nearly as bad as Iggy from what I saw, but better safe than sorry. I was only there for the Dashboard, a band I've been hot and cold on over the years as their catalog is wildly inconsistent. It's been several years since their last new album, and that's given me the time and perspective I needed to figure out that Dashboard Confessional was a big part of my college years and their music has aged much better than I ever expected. I listened to them semi-ironically when I was 20-ish and happy, I listened to them when I was in chemo because I needed something mellow yet meaningful, and I listened to them when I was getting ready to drop out because nostalgia. I love sincerity and soul-bearing in the music I listen to, and that's 100% of what they do. I'll say this for frontman Chris Carrabba, too- not only is he really, really, ridiculously good-looking, he also knows everyone who loves his band fell in love with them because of their first two albums. Too many bands and artists peak early and spend the rest of their careers running from it. Half of Dashboard's set came from that early stuff, and apart from my standard "I hope they play this random song I know they won't play" song, I got most of what I was after. Dashboard was one of the top bands on my concert bucket list, and they didn't let me down. Here's the last three songs, with special guest vocals by the dude filming it. The last one, "Hands Down" (10:00), is their best song by a mile. I'm one of the poncho people on the left.

This is something that only gets admitted on a blog with no readership, but there was a time when the night's headliner, Third Eye Blind, was my musical triple crown winner: favorite album, favorite song, favorite band. Hey, I was 16, and like everyone who's 16, I was self-absorbed and convinced my problems were unique, important, and without solutions. 3EB was four adult men whose music supported that conclusion. I've seen them several times, and one great thing about having a shameless narcissist as your lead singer is the concerts are always energetic, moving, and unintentionally comedic. As they took the stage to strobe lights and a partial cover of Underworld's "Born Slippy" (more nostalgia!), I got my dose of comedy. Lucky for me, as I saw them for the first time in fifteen years, they were touring on a solid album and a dream setlist. Some of the highlights of the new album, but not too many, mixed in with a murderer's row of great songs from their first two albums. In fact, my biggest complaint would be the absence of a new song you'll find on my year-end top 10 songs list, possibly at the top. Well worth the rain. Here's part of a new one, "Dopamine", followed by the aforementioned favorite song of 16 year old Everlasting Dave, "Motorcycle Driveby". 

So many memories in that song. Depressing, adolescent memories. So that was EmoFest. 

Our next stop takes us to Grant Park for Taste of Chicago, where Saint Motel opened for another 90's alternative rock radio stalwart and band on my concert bucket list, Weezer. (Side note: I assumed I had seen Weezer at some point in the late 90's. I had not. I did see a band pretending to be Weezer at a Halloween show in 2004, though.) Saint Motel is one of those poppy, slightly funky, not-quite-rock groups whose songs are on commercials. I enjoyed their set, but I didn't need any more than the 40 minutes they got. Weezer, though... Oh my god. I would have been in for a three hour Weezer set. They clearly love playing together, the set was a compilation of 21 years of hits, and frontman Rivers Cuomo kinda looks like a pre-cancer Walter White. Also, like Third Eye Blind, they were touring on a  surprisingly good new album. I don't even know which vids to add from this, as every song was good. I'm gonna go with two songs that came out in the decade-plus I didn't care about Weezer, but now appreciate as I should. I missed out on two decades of good shows by not caring about this band the way they deserve. Oh, and on this night, the rain waited until Weezer was almost done before it started to come down.

A few weeks later, I found myself in Wicker Park for one of those Chicago streetfests, full of overpriced craft beer, random food, arts and crafts, a surprising number of dogs, and one big name band who inexplicably agreed to play on a tiny stage on a closed-off city street. This time around, that band was Veruca Salt, who I had just seen for the first time a year before. More so than Weezer, but less so than Third Eye Blind, Veruca Salt played a role back in the 90's in making me the person I am today. Nina and Louise brought the fire on this night, never more so than on the new stuff like "Prince of Wales" and "Laughing in the Sugar Bowl". Of course there was also "All Hail Me", "Volcano Girls", and a stopped-and-restarted "Seether", but for me, gaining a full appreciation of the new album "Ghost Notes" was the point. So here's "Laughing in the Sugar Bowl".

I'll finish this post with what was probably the second-best concert day of 2015 for me: Fat Wrecked for 25 Years, featuring NoFX, Lagwagon, and a cavalcade of other punk bands on Fat Wreck Chords. I bought my tickets for this August concert the day they went on sale, and when the venue was changed from the Aragon to the House of Blues, I had mixed feelings. The HoB is smaller, so I would be closer to the stage for my first time seeing NoFX and Lagwagon, but my experiences with the staff, crowds, and bars was always better at the Aragon. On my previous trip to the HoB, I was nicotine-deprived halfway through the opening act because there was no re-entry. At least they fixed that for Fat Wrecked. So that ended up being about 6 hours of beer, cigarette breaks, and good punk rock- and by the time we showed up, we had already missed the first 3 hours. A few of the bands paid tribute to No Use For A Name and their deceased lead singer Tony Sly, the highlight being Strung Out's cover of "Soulmate". Thanks to HoB's recording policies, we'll have to settle for the performance from Toronto.

Since I'm not really quite a punk diehard* I was mostly there for the headliners, and they were damn well worth the wait. Lagwagon played their album "Trashed" from beginning to end, and NoFX covered both Rancid and Tony Sly. Lucky for this post, that performance is on YouTube:

That's the summer in concerts, and we're roughly a third of the way done for the year. If the next post isn't about baseball, or the music that actually came out in 2015, it'll be a detailed account of my first three-day festival experience.

*: When I get into a band, I get into them all the way, but I don't usually go for "You enjoy _____ so you might like ____." . So while Rancid, NoFX, and Against Me! are all effectively a part of my religion, I don't have that encyclopedic knowledge of obscure bands that is the barrier to entry to the punk community. I also listen to scornworthy pop-punk on a fairly regular basis because I was 12 years old when Dookie came out and it will always be awesome for that reason. But hey, two years ago I didn't know a single Against Me! song, so maybe this is something that changes gradually. Maybe by the time I'm fat and bald and embarrassing to see at a punk rock show, I'll know my stuff. If not, I don't care. I'll wear my Green Day hoodie to any damn show because it's comfy, consarnit.

MLB 2015 Wrapup Part I

It's that special time of year, when the World Series is over but Winning the Winter is still a month away from its debut. I thought I would take a quick look at all 30 teams, tell you how wrong I was about them in March for my own amusement, and give a rough overview of what they can do to win the winter and, potentially, the 2016 season. I'll break it up into three posts, starting today with the playoff teams. In descending order of 2015 awesomeness, here's the last word on the season.

1. Kansas City Royals. I gave the 2014 AL Champs a D for their offseason work, although I did suspect Kendrys Morales was a good signing and the defense-and-bullpen team construction was still solid. I overrated two of their AL Central competitors, true, but I also underrated this team as badly as anyone. I assume I'll do it again five months from now, once the free agents have left and their places are filled by Dayton Moore acquisitions that don't make sense to those of us who aren't team building savants. Those holes- second base, left field, and number one starting pitcher- will be the focus, and unless Alex Gordon stays, they'll be taking downgrades across the board. Even so, Royals magic is real, their hitting philosophy still gives them strategic superiority, and it's going to take more than a mediocre White Sox team having an aggressive offseason to knock KC off the list of favorites this winter.

2. New York Mets. Let's take a moment to acknowledge how much weirdness went into the Mets' season. The most talented team in their division lost their season to injuries and Matt Williams buffoonery. The rest of the division was so bad it took a mere 90 wins to guarantee a Division Series appearance, while it took 97 to make the Wild Card game. A blockbuster deadline deal fell through, allowing Sandy Alderson to add his backup plan- the Cuban Babe Ruth- to the lineup for the stretch run and turning Wilmer Flores into a folk hero for one of the coolest reasons anyone has ever become a folk hero. Daniel Murphy single-handedly destroyed every Cy Young contender in a two-week stretch in October, and now a bad defensive second baseman with middling power might be looking at a qualifying offer. All this is to say I was a little wrong about the Mets, but if I wasn't so very wrong about the Nationals, it wouldn't have made a difference. The World Series exposed a need for better relief pitching, but playing against KC would do that to any team. Apart from that, I don't think anyone would blame Sandy Alderson if he sat on his hands this winter. The pieces are there to do this every year for the next five years, with or without Murphy and Cespedes. The pitching is just that good.

3. Toronto Blue Jays. Finally, we get to a team I got right. The lineup was every bit as good as I expected, and Alex Anthopoulos showed in July that his penchant for audacious trades wasn't confined to the winter. I'm fascinated by everything about Anthopoulos: His youth, his compulsion to trade for players no other team would consider available, the fact that he traded most of his best prospects for star players in late 2012 only to rebuild the farm system and deplete it again for more, better stars in 2014-15, and finally his diva turn, leaving when new team president Mark Shapiro became the primary decision maker. Every day when I hit MLBTraderumors, the headline I'm looking for is "White Sox/Marlins fire Rick Hahn/Michael Hill, hire Anthopoulos". But enough about my baseball man crushes. The Blue Jays had a magical season, but the cost was high. 60% of the starting rotation are free agents and the prospect cupboard is once again nearly bare. The future hinges on whether Shapiro wants to take a step back to start a bottom-up build, or if he and ownership recognize the rare opportunity 2015 gave them and assume their rightful place as Yankees North. That would entail some aggressive free agent spending on starting pitching, with the best possible outcome being David Price and a successful run at a mid-rotation starter, possibly keeping Marco Estrada. If that gets done without compromising the face-melting lineup, this team doesn't have to be a one-year wonder.

4. Chicago Cubs. Three teams made the leap in 2015 and I missed them all, but since I'm not a scout I don't really blame myself for not seeing Kyle Schwarber coming. Jake Arrieta and Kris Bryant, on the other hand... Maybe I should have called that. Still, 97 wins is an absurd total, one that wasn't predicted by anyone but the biggest North Side homers. Like the Mets, the Cubs don't have to do a whole lot to enter 2016 with great expectations. Unlike the Mets, the Cubs aren't afraid to throw lots of money at the best available player who fills a need- in this case, Price, Cueto, or Zimmermann. They also need a placeholder center fielder until Albert Almora is ready, and like most teams, some more bullpen depth wouldn't hurt. If they can fix Jon Lester's pickoff issues, that would also be a thing worth doing. The winter jockeying between three great teams and excellent front offices in St. Louis, Chicago, and Pittsburgh should be enough to keep the stove hot all winter. The 2016 NL Central race will be a good one, and it starts today.

5. Houston Astros. And here's the third leap-making team I missed on. Carlos Correa is real, y'all. But this wasn't just the K-happy team I thought they were in March. Led by Dallas Keuchel, they led the AL in ERA while finishing among the best teams in most relevant offensive stats. Oh yeah, and Carlos Gomez is their center fielder now. The Astros are pretty much the anti-Royals, based on the longball and strong starting pitching, but their success in 2015 shows that any strategy is a good one as long as the team sticks to it. To that end, I look for Houston to make a single big splash this winter, maybe signing Crush Davis to solve their first base controversy (If you have two first basemen, you don't have one) or adding another good starting pitcher. Whether or not they go big this winter, we should probably expect the Astros to be playoff regulars for the foreseeable future.

6. Los Angeles Dodgers. The Dodgers played to everyone's expectations in the regular season, with Kershaw and Greinke dominating the Cy Young discussion until Jake Arrieta came along and broke baseball in August and September. Andrew Friedman's winter trades with the Padres and the Marlins made him look even smarter than he already was. Another complex trade in July was supposed to bring in pitching reinforcements, but Mat Latos didn't stick and Alex Wood underwhelmed. In the end, the Dodgers' World Series hopes were dashed not by a lack of rotation depth but by the video game version of Daniel Murphy and the rise of the Mets' starting pitchers. Nothing can stop the randomness of short series baseball, but it's a foregone conclusion that ownership will fork over whatever it takes to restock the rotation and try it again next year under a new manager.

7. Texas Rangers. Of all the teams I got wrong in March, I'm most surprised and embarrassed by this one. I thought their best case scenario was selling at the trade deadline, and instead they rode some deadline pitching upgrades and a lineup full of comeback heroes to a close-fought division title. Among the many things I missed: Shin-Soo Choo and Prince Fielder are still quality bats, Yovanni Gallardo's stuff actually translated to the AL, and Arte Moreno's desperation to rid himself of Josh Hamilton was greater than any of us imagined. The sum of all this is the Rangers entering the winter in pretty good shape. Behind the veteran core of Beltre, Choo, Fielder, and Andrus, the team has a group of young, high-ceiling position players that could either be trade bait or replacements for whoever ages fastest. Rougned Odor and Delino Deshields, Jr. were the first two to crack the lineup, but Joey Gallo and the oft-injured Jurickson Profar aren't far behind. The bullpen was nails down the stretch under rookie manager Jeff Bannister, and the key guys are all returning. Adding a starting pitcher to replace the free agent Gallardo might be on the team's to-do list, but with ace Yu Darvish expected to return from Tommy John surgery, even that doesn't qualify as essential. This means Jon Daniels can play opportunist this winter, knowing he doesn't have to fill needs but is free to search for upgrades.

8. St. Louis Cardinals. While I did pick the Cardinals to win the NL Central this year, I only give myself partial credit because the division's three best teams each finished with 10-15 more wins than I expected. While the Cubs are the best story and the Pirates pace the league in wins-per-dollar-spent, I keep coming back to this fact with the Cardinals: Adam Wainwright missed the entire season and St. Louis still led MLB in ERA and wins while playing in the hardest division in baseball. I root against the Cardinals because they're always good and they're never interesting, but I have to say that's incredible. Meanwhile, the emergence of Stephen Piscotty and Randal Grichuk means they can let Jason Heyward leave for a draft pick- and live with the declining Yadier Molina and Matt Holliday for another year- without cratering the offense. They could go after a big bat in right field or first base if such a player becomes available, but I don't think they have to. I think this is another winter where the Cardinals stay quiet until the right great player becomes available for the right price, then they pounce and put another juggernaut on the field in 2016.

9. New York Yankees. This is another playoff team I had pegged for fifth place, but in my season preview I at least acknowledged the possibility that they could have a good year. In fact, the way they did it- big years from A-Rod and Mark Teixeira- was exactly the scenario I allowed for, give or take a Sabathia. The deep, dominant bullpen bailed out the rotation more often than not in 2015, so we have to assume the Yanks will make a play for at least one good starting pitcher to join Tanaka and Severino. But given that they're still paying a lot of players more than they're worth thanks to overly long free agent deals, I'm going to guess that the Yankees' plan to win the winter consists of adding a mid-tier starting pitcher or two, continuing to hoard prospects, and looking to take advantage of a weak AL East next year without sacrificing the future. If Toronto can't assemble a pitching staff, that might be just crazy enough to work.

10. Pittsburgh Pirates. In retrospect, leaving the Pirates off of my playoff predictions in March was too cute by half, and I knew it before April was over. This team keeps dumpster-diving and coming up with starting pitching gold, as they did midseason with J.A. Happ. If Cole/Arrieta goes the other way in the Wild Card game, we could easily be talking about the Pirates as World Series champions right now. Instead, it's an early exit, to an inferior team with a red-hot starting pitcher, for the second year in a row*. So what does Pittsburgh do this winter to get over the hump? Nothing. They won 98 games in 2015. The hump has been gotten over, and one-game-playoff results don't reflect anything fixable. They'll return the same roster, plus a couple terrible pitchers who miraculously become mid-rotation anchors or late-game shutdown artists, and they'll hope the Cards and Cubs stumble just a little so they can use both Cole and Liriano next October.

*:Personally, I have no problem with the current playoff setup because I think there should be a significant advantage granted to teams that win their division. But with the best three teams in baseball sharing the NL Central, teams like my preseason Wild Card picks- the Padres and Marlins- have some real thinking to do this winter. If they can't realistically catch the Dodgers/Mets/Nats, they might be left with nothing to play for, and then, what's the real difference between an 85 win Padres team and a 60 win Brewers team? A couple years' head start on rebuilding, that's what.

Last-Minute Baseball Playoff Picks

Ever since MLB added the second wild card, picking playoff winners at the end of the regular season makes no sense. How many people had the Pirates winning it all, only to be wrong 48 hours later? Total waste of time. So now that we're done with the coin flips and Jays/Rangers is mere minutes from getting underway, here's my playoff picks for 2015. No explanation, because there's no time. Just picks, and a special thank you to the AL for being a nonsensical crapshoot all year.

AL: Blue Jays over Rangers, Astros over Royals, Blue Jays over Astros
NL: Dodgers over Mets, Cubs over Cardinals, Cubs over Dodgers
World Series: Blue Jays over Cubs.

I Stay Down With My Demons

We're back with the latest set of five fucked-up films. I've arranged them from worst to best this time, because these five ran the gamut from "almost worthless" to "stunning cinematic achievement" with three stops in between. As always, I watch these so you don't have to.

Antichrist (2009): Lars Von Trier directed and wrote this quiet, dark story about a husband and wife whose young son dies, turning the wife into a basket case and the husband into a cold, condescending therapist. They decide to go out into the woods, to their one-time vacation spot, so she can explore and conquer her fears. This one is half slow burn and half shock piece, with some majorly disturbing visuals. It says a lot without a ton of dialogue about the lines between love and hate, pleasure and pain, innocence and guilt. On a more literal level, it's about people losing fights with their demons and pride coming before the fall. It's a hard line to walk when you try to be gross-out and thought-provoking at the same time, and for me, this missed the mark. I'll allow that it makes its points well and doesn't beat you over the head with them. It just tells a simple, sad story that touches on a lot of universal themes. I just can't recommend it- not because I was scarred, but because it was a predictable unpleasant slog apart from the occasional pornographic and/or extremely violent scene. Truth be told, those brief and intense moments are the only thing that landed this movie on "most disturbing" lists. It wasn't fun to watch or even interesting, but there was a commendable elegance to the story and its message that kept it from being a complete waste of time. I guess a D+ is where this one ends up.

13 Sins (2014): In this American remake of a Thai thriller, we follow the story of Elliot, who is little different from Craig in "Cheap Thrills": recently fired, drowning in debt, needs money to start a family. While Craig's ticket to the good life is a heavily intoxicated David Koechner, Elliot receives his escalating dares on a mysterious cellphone, with the late George Coe (RIP, Woodhouse) telling him he's on a game show and under constant surveillance. The payouts rise much faster in "13 Sins" than in "Cheap Thrills", but the tasks are also more gut-wrenchingly evil and difficult. Other than that, it's kind of the same movie only less funny, entirely unsexy, and more twisted. It's dark, but not haunting. It's clever, but not thought-provoking. It's got Ron Perlman, but in a role that encourages the viewer to take him seriously, which I'm pretty sure can't be done. And it does something I can't stand: a character says the (rather obvious) theme and message of the movie verbatim. It made me roll my eyes in "Martyrs", a film with much greater ambitions, and it doesn't work any better here. Mildly entertaining and occasionally cringe-inducing, but nothing original or special. C-.

Jacob's Ladder (1990): Tim Robbins stars in this reality-bending story as Jacob Singer, a Vietnam veteran who, like Billy Pilgrim, has become unstuck in time. Nobody from his battalion in Da Nang can remember anything about their last night in action, and many of them are regularly pursued by demons in their present-day lives. Unless those demons are hallucinations, or unless all of Jacob's fellow soldiers are all lying to him. Or unless any of a million other possibilities. For extra gut-wrench points, Jacob also has to deal with a divorce from a woman he still loves, a new girlfriend who is less than patient with his crazy, and the accidental death of his son, played by Macaulay Culkin. That brings me to the next notable thing about "Jacob's Ladder": check out this murderer's row of moderately famous people who were bit characters here before they went on to bigger things- Ving Rhames, S. Epatha Merkerson, Jason Alexander, Eriq La Salle, Kyle Gass, Lewis Black, and Culkin. Simply stunning. While the acting, cinematography, hair, and wardrobe is all very 1990 and embarrassingly so, the method of storytelling and (for lack of a better term) the mindfuckiness of this movie was well ahead of its time. I didn't think it was a keep-you-guessing movie. I thought it was just about Agent Orange, paranoia of the government, and PTSD, which was impressive in and of itself because PTSD wasn't really a thing in 1990. But it blindsided me and zoomed out my perspective multiple times, and I was always happy my predictions were wrong. Really good work, apart from the 1990 hair and 1990 stereotypes of blacks and Jews in New York City. I'll give it a B.

Kynodontas (or Dogtooth) (2009): Finally, we get to a film that delivers what I'm looking for. Instead of blood and gore, Greece's "Kynodontas" sets up a ludicrously insane premise, commits to it fully, and then just lets the characters live it. A mother and father of three have raised their now-grown children to believe that the world outside their fenced-in manor is uninhabitable, full of untold danger, and they aren't safe anywhere but home. It focuses on the beyond-naive, childlike personalities of a grown man and two grown women, raised in an alternate reality and never taught to question it- or, indeed, to think at all. The acting of the son and daughters is really quite remarkable in that the characters only have three emotions each, all of them in their most juvenile form: terror, glee, and puppy-like unconditional trust. Their faces remain guileless and without a trace of nuance for ninety minutes. They tussle and chase each other like toddlers one minute, then exchange pseudo-sexual favors for trinkets the next. It's like a prison movie, except the inmates don't know they're in prison and they love and adore their captors like gods. It goes to some shocking and taboo places- of course it does- but the movie's real accomplishment is establishing, then exploring, the set of conditions that allows the three main characters to grow to adult age without ever being close to truly human. Fascinating, compelling, original, and utterly alien. I give it a B+. It could have been an A, and one of the best movies this project has led me to, but I felt like the premise had potential to be infinitely twisted, and the twistiness was all too finite.

We Need to Talk About Kevin (2011): This one's been on my list since I started this series of posts, but I was saving it because everything I read had me convinced it would be one of the most disturbing movies I've ever seen. Having seen it, I now wish I'd saved it for last. "Kevin" works on a different emotional axis from the other highlights of this series, and on that axis, it's a goddamn masterpiece. It stars Tilda Swinton and John C. Reilly as Eva and Franklin, the parents of the titular character, and we see Kevin at three different phases of his life: a silent, defiant toddler, an increasingly vulgar and hateful young boy, and finally as the sometimes charming, sometimes casually violent adolescent. We know from the start that Kevin does something horrific, as the film isn't chronological. We see Eva driving toward flashing police lights. We see her trying to remove red paint that somebody splashed all over her house. We see total strangers curse her out in public. Interspersed with those scenes of the fallout, we watch Kevin grow up into a psychopath, his hate and rage focused almost entirely on Eva while Franklin remains convinced he's normal. Thanks largely to Jasper Newell, who plays 6-8 year old Kevin with a startling lack of humanity, you feel like you're in the room sharing an uncomfortable silence with the characters for most of the movie. Director Lynne Ramsey fills every setting with red at one point or another: with paint on the house, with police lights, in a grocery store in front of shelves of tomato sauce, or even in flashbacks to the Tomatina festival to show a pre-motherhood Eva as a happy, young, well-off world traveler. The red makes the film physically hard to watch; as the characters deal with their own internal trauma, the constant of the color burns your eyes as if to warn you away from watching through to the end. This boldness turns individual screenshots of the movie into works of art, even without context. After each interaction between Kevin and Eva you're more tense and less patient, wondering what form Kevin's hatred will take as it goes from a simmer to a boil. The climax and resolution are extraordinary, and like the other truly worthwhile films this project has shown me, it left me with one horrifically beautiful and indelible image. Marion hits bottom in "Requiem for a Dream". The final shot of "Inside". The kiss goodbye in "Funny Games". And now, Kevin's curtain call. It's these moments that I'm looking for whenever I start to watch a potential fucked-up film. It could have wound up anywhere from A to F given the content, but this movie is everything I hoped it would be. The plot structure, cinematography, casting, acting, and even the sound are all deserving of the highest praise. I'm giving it an A. Along with the aforementioned "Inside", "Requiem", and "Funny Games", we have a new entrant in the top tier of disturbing cinema.