The top 6 is five girls and Lazaro Arbos, after Burnell's elimination last week. We see his tearful goodbyes with everybody except Lazaro, who I don't think anybody likes anymore. They take the stage and I do believe Lazaro's wearing a teal suit. Oh Lazaro, if you don't make me laugh out loud I'm off the bandwagon. Round one is songs from Burt Bacharach, and round 2 is "songs the contestants wish they wrote". Why do these themes still happen? It serves no one. If I had to bet on a half to be more train-wrecky, I'd say the second. Burt Bacharach seems more boring than hilariously bad to me.
Anyway, Angie leads it off. She likes to rock out to metal, so it makes sense that her performance is like a Broadway audition. Aaaand, any appeal she had for me is gone. Keith is telling her to be impassioned and says she's 'missing the humanity'. Nicki agrees. Randy Jackson is now telling her how to put more of herself into her performances, and even though nobody liked it, he says she's still one of the greatest in this. Mariah talks for what seems like a very, very long time.
Amber is second up, and she eats frozen cooked shrimp out of the bag. I'm fine with that. And she's turned the Idol stage into some horrid 70's singing show thing, and is bringing "Say a Little Prayer For You", or whatever it's called. I got rid of the Idol app. Ugh, the outfit, the sparkly background, the arrangement, this just won't end. Poor Amber and her misdirected talent. Nicki: "I am bowing down right now for you, little girl. YES. You have just become my favorite girl in the competition." Randy: "Yo!", followed by total agreeance. I need a much better explanation than I'm getting for this positivity, and Mariah and Keith fail to provide it. They ask Amber what it means that her "boyfriend" isn't around, and Ryan asks if that means Paul or Devin. OK, that was funny.
Lazaro likes to ride 4-wheelers and hunt, and says people call him the Spanish redneck guy.Yeah, that's believable. He's singing "Close to You", and I still can't properly explain what he's wearing, or what he's doing here. I get that he stutters and it's a struggle for him, but his performance doesn't make sense on any level. Nobody is so bad at communication that this kind of thing happens by accident, but nobody with eyes or ears would ever intend for this to happen. Randy: "No, no, no, no. That was horrible!" True. "Especially following Amber who was unbelievable!" Um, not so much. Mariah tries to explain what a key change is to Lazaro, without a ton of success. But she sure is trying! Wow, she has no idea when to stop talking. Keith says the key change didn't matter when the entire song was in a key Lazaro can't sing in.
Kree loves rodeos, which is something that's supposed to... surprise people? What the...? She's doing "What the World Needs Now", and it's pretty awesome. Good song for her. Mariah is in full-on ramble mode, and I can't even pay attention to this all the way through. That got cringe-worthy. Back to reality... Keith loved it, Nicki calls her voice "Hella cocky", Randy establishes that he agrees with everyone. Kree nailed it and it wasn't in doubt.
Janelle played a boy in a high school play, which is.... nothing. She's singing something boring and midtempo and having breath issues, just like last week. Lazaro's not going home tomorrow, so you know, it might have been a good idea to pick something you could kick ass with. Keith says she's multifaceted, Nicki says it was really boring, Randy tells her to find spots to "Be Janelle", OH GOD PLEASE STOP TALKING MARIAH. Whew. With a top 3 and a bottom 3, how does Janelle crack the top 3 tomorrow? She pretty much can't.
Candice knows a dialect of English/Jamaican/whatever that's pretty rad. We're at the halfway point on the clock and thanks to Mariah, we're a few minutes behind halfway through the show. I can't wait till they cut her mic, or do whatever they did to keep Britney to one sentence on the X-Factor. Oh yeah, Candice is kicking this song's ass. Big range, plays with it nicely, boring song but big vocal. It gets a standing ovation, and Nicki strikes first with her own mini-ramble. Randy gives her the ol' "In it to win it" and "Best performance of the night".
While Mariah's talking, I'll ask myself what I thought. Kree was better than Candice, but there was nothing wrong with either one. I just felt like Kree was more believable. Round one goes: Kree, Candice, a massive gap, Amber, Janelle, Angie, Lazaro.
Angie starts round 2 with the song she wishes she wrote, "Love Came Down" by Kari Jobe. I'd rather see a song I've never heard than a song I've heard too many times, so let's see. Well, maybe she's got a career in Christian music, because that's what that was. Good vocal, but I just can't picture it being used for good and not evil. Randy and Keith stand up and clap. Nicki tells her to be smart and stay behind the piano. She then goes on to say that whenever Angie performs without the piano, Kree, Amber, and Candice take all the prizes, whatever that means. WGWP takes over from WGWG? Yeah, maybe. All I know is, piano or no piano, I just want Angie to keep up the string of wardrobe smash hits.
Ryan asks Amber about what's going on with Burnell, and she says they're friends. Burn, man. Burn. "Love on Top" by Beyonce is the song Amber wishes she'd written, and she's dressed in the Fresh Prince collection. This is probably the best vocal of the night so far, maybe second to Candice. Good job on a song that probably should have died on stage. At least the judges are inconsistent- when she's boring and old-timey, she's the best thing ever. When she gets one right, she's the best thing ever.
Lazaro is singing a Robbie Williams song, "Angels" and I'm on lyrics watch cause hey, just because he loves the song doesn't mean he'll know the words. He does, but it's boring and weak, because that's all he can be. Randy says "slightly better than last time", and that's the closest it gets to a compliment. Without naming names, Keith called him a 'talent show singer' amongst 'artists', which is super generous to everyone involved.
The results show tomorrow will have Kelly Clarkson and Scotty McCreery, so yeah, I'll be watching the last 15 minutes of that. Kree is doing Kris Kristofferson's "Help Me Make it Through the Night" as the song she wishes she'd written. She's not swinging for the fences, but she nails it just the same. I have to admit, she's done a good job of doing pop country without the pop, almost as if that was once a genre of its own. If there were such a style of music, I think Kree could do well with it. Nicki is "plugged into the Kreedom show". Randy calls her a natural natural. Keith's ready to give her the keys to Nashville.
Janelle wishes she wrote "The Dance" by Garth Brooks. Her breath control is much better on this one, but it comes off as boring in the context of a competition. Randy name-drops Garth Brooks, but didn't think it was that good. Mariah didn't either. Keith wishes she'd used the guitar. Nicki liked it better than her first, but still thinks she's the fifth best of five girls. I don't disagree.
Wow, Candice is doing "Love Song", the Adele version of the Cure song. This passes for a bold choice on this show. And it's amazing. Every note, every line, good lord. I mentioned Kree was more believable in round 1, but this isn't a question of belief. It's a fact. That might be the winner. Mariah runs up to hug her. Randy: "One of the best performances in the history of American Idol".
Ok, Lazaro Janelle, and Angie are easy for the bottom 3. Kree and Candice both had their best nights thus far and Amber had at least one really strong performance. If anyone other than Lazaro or Janelle are at the bottom tomorrow night, they'll use the save. I think it's more likely that Janelle goes home and whatever dark sorcery keeps Lazaro on the show will persist for another week.
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