So, instead of jumping into a discussion on social issues, politics, or the future of our planet, I'm gonna start off writing about something that really matters. BASEBALL. One division at a time, from worst to best until we've crowned a World Series champion in March. We'll get to Frothy and the Republibot later. Sound good? AL Central, after the jump.
First up is the division nearest and dearest to my heart, the AL Central. Between the gutted White Sox, the rudderless Twins, and the half-rebuilt Royals, the Central boasts fully half of the AL's no-chance-in-hell teams.
FIFTH PLACE: Minnesota Twins. Here's what happened to their last good team: Their ace-in-waiting (Francisco Liriano) got wrecked by Tommy John surgery and a maddeningly inconsistent recovery. Their ace (Matt Garza) went to Tampa Bay in exchange for one of the Young brothers. They traded their young stud catcher (Wilson Ramos) for a relief pitcher right about the time their old stud catcher (Joe Mauer) signed a massive contract and promptly lost the use of both of his knees. Their slugging first baseman (Justin Morneau) will never be the same thanks to post-concussion syndrome. Oh, and they haven't drafted and developed a star since Mauer. Other than that, everything's awesome.
FOURTH PLACE: Chicago White Sox. The only reason I don't have them in last place is blatant homerism. Fortunately I don't have cable, so I'll only be able to watch this crime against baseball once a week or so. Brent Morel is still their third baseman (Seriously?). Alex Rios is still there. Adam Dunn is very wealthy and still there. None of those guys should be as bad as they were in '11, but it'd be good if they weren't counting on that. Mark Buerhle and Carlos Quentin are gone. Half the bullpen is gone. They don't have anyone in the minor leagues that offers hope for the future. 100 losses is not out of the question, especially if Gavin Floyd is traded.
THIRD PLACE: Kansas City Royals. I get the optimism surrounding this team. I do. Eric Hosmer is a legit star. Mike Moustakas has all the makings. Billy Butler and Alex Gordon resemble a middle-of-the-lineup and you don't even have to squint. But the best thing about their pitching staff is Bruce Chen's twitter (@ChenMusic), and even that's gone dormant. That they failed to reel in a Mat Latos, Gio Gonzalez, or even an Edwin Jackson this winter is baffling.
SECOND PLACE: Cleveland Indians. I believe this is the team that benefits most from the second wild card (New in 2012!). They probably won't win the division, and they probably won't be better than the second place team in the AL East. But could they be better than, say, both the Red Sox and the Angels? Or both Texas and Tampa Bay? Yeah, maybe. The rotation is about $20MM deeper than last year, and their lineup and defense could improve with the additions of the kids Kipnis and Chisenhall.
FIRST PLACE: Detroit Tigers. Sure, things could go wrong. Miguel Cabrera at third probably won't last. Jose Valverde headlines an entire bullpen due for regression. Nobody knows what to expect from the rotation behind Verlander. But all of that has to go wrong for them to finish out of first. Even if adding Prince Fielder to a team that already had a fat first baseman with insane power is more of a fantasy baseball move, they'll figure it out. Teams with two MVP candidates in the lineup and another in the rotation usually do.
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