I think my problem with this show starts with Kelly Reilly. I mean, it's hard enough to get used to Grey's Anatomy's Ellen Pompeo and Justin Chambers as doctors when they act like high schoolers, but at least they act like the kind of high schoolers who might one day become doctors. Kelly Reilly acts like the kind of high schooler who wears a lot of black, randomly hisses at people, and gets her cigarettes from her 28-year-old boyfriend. Her appearance, attitude, and dialogue scream "heroin addict", not "Marco Polo of the brain". She can do the mania thing with some verisimilitude, but we haven't seen an instant of depression yet and she doesn't really act medicated when she's supposed to be acting medicated. It's possible that actors who can act like doctors just wouldn't make for a watchable show. This occurred to me after watching episode 3: Has TV's endless quest for relatability brought us to a point where everyone has seventh-grade vocabularies and personalities, no matter how smart they're supposed to be or how intellectually demanding their jobs are? I mean, I love me some Grey's, but they're among the worst offenders in all this. Ugh. I just got done re-watching 24, and other than the A+ writing and editing, the thing that really set that show apart was Dennis Haysbert. He was an adult in the room having adult conversations, and he was brilliant. Dear President Palmer, please stop trying to sell me insurance. Come back and instill our nation with truth and honor again. Wayne can come too.
So we're up to episode 4. This should end Act 1 of the series, but that suggests some kind of plot arc. At this point, I think we just need to settle in and enjoy the mean spirited jackassery that Black Box specializes in. Starting off...
Leo and the other med student- Her name is Allie, which I'm spelling that way so I don't have to stop referring to Ali Wong as such- are a great example of what I was saying. Talking about rising to the top of their exclusive and demanding field, and acting like children. You know, if "They're just like us!" is a compliment to 'us', it's an insult to 'they'. Just saying. Catherine introduces Bickman to Will. Catherine again uses Will as a prop- this time to establish she is really, for sure, no backsies, not sleeping with Bickman anymore.
"He's a chef. And you're a snob."
"The Marco Polo of the brain doesn't even know her own mind. Hey, what do you guys talk about anyway? Quinoa?"
Lol food not as hard as doctoring lol. Above the elevator door is a quote from Rainer Maria Rilke: "I want to be with those who know secret things or else alone." He was talking about wisdom and truth, not who's banging who, but hey, tomato, tomahto. Leo's being brain-scanned to see what hypermemory looks like. Allie's jealous because she's, potentially, the first realistic and likable person on this show. Crap, I hope I didn't just jinx...
"We get it. Your mommy only loved you when you excelled so you're constantly seeking female validation of your badass brainpower."
Dammit. Dammit dammit dammit. Every woman on this show is a passive-aggressive bitch and every man is a massively overcompensating big swingin' dick. Except for Ali Wong, who isn't actually real because she's the internet's wet dream, and the elderly actors, who I still have hope will be returned home safe one day soon. You're in our thoughts, Vanessa and Edward. Stay strong. At least we find out Leo's memory thing is actually covering up some kind of hyperactive delusion.
Will tells Catherine the restaurant staff is throwing them an engagement party that night, because doctors can just blow off work whenever.
"Will whatshername be there?"
"You mean Delilah. No, not if you don't want her there."
"No, I could care less. I don't want her within a hundred miles."
Yep. This is borderline behavior, not bipolar, but I'm sure I'm the only one keeping score. She shows Ali Wong the ring, so Ali Wong gets to be cute for a minute, and then they drop the ring down the sink. Luckily, Josh knows "the most exceptional plumber in all five boroughs." Christ. Why can't he just "know a guy"?
Our patient this week is Michael, a guy bossman met in the park playing chess. He's at least manic and probably on coke. He gets out of his room and runs up to the doctors, because this is the least secure psychiatric facility in the country. This will come into play multiple times. Catherine sees something diagnosable, offending Dr. Mahmoud, the staff psychiatrist. Again- real doctors would talk about this. High school students would snipe and backbite. Guess which way this is going. Turns out Michael is a laid-off cop who started drinking heavily. Dr. Mahmoud says he has bipolar.
Elmira, Mike's wife: "Are you saying he's crazy? Mike is NOT crazy!"
We have a strawman. 'Bout time someone showed up to make the writers' ignorance seem less glaring. At the restaurant, Delilah tries to jump Will's bones and he rejects her. Meanwhile, Ali Wong, a doctor, a nurse, and another guy are trying to fix the ring disaster.
Ali Wong: "I'm pretty sure it's righty-loosey, lefty-tighty."
Nurse: "Don't you take computers apart and put them back together in your sleep?"
Ali Wong with a sadface: "Yes. Too bad she didn't drop her ring down a hard drive."
Doctor: "We need one of those things that grabs the pipe and yanks it in a twisting motion."
Nurse: "Like a wrench?"
More fun with Leo, Jim Carrey's stand-in from the movie "Yes Man".
Allie: "Leo, are you a kung fu master?"
Leo: "Absolutely. Also a master of the Japanese ninja techniques of infiltration and assassination."
Turns out Leo has a brain tumor. Well, so much for that briefly entertaining era in the show. Back to nails-on-a-chalkboard awkwardness, then? Righty-O. This time it's The Most Exceptional Plumber In All Five Boroughs- who's like 22 years old- and Ali Wong flirting. Wait, does labored self-deprecation fill the meanness requirement? If not, I don't think they're allowed to be into each other. Catherine and Bickman argue over surgery or radiation for Leo, and Catherine scores points when Bickman doesn't know his own intern's name. Which is super-relevant for medicine. Leo's brain starts to break. Mike domes his security guard with a chair and gets out of the room again. LOCKS, people. Doors have them for a reason. He attacks Dr. Mahmoud for trying to poison him, and holds a knife to her neck because rats are eating his brain. The magic of Catherine convinces him to drop the knife and let Dr. Mahmoud go. Because this episode isn't ridiculous enough yet, Ali Wong overhears Superplumber referring to Catherine's ring as "my preciousss", so they exchange LotR lines and geek out over each other. Catherine has to treat Mike- yeah, it wasn't bipolar, so suck it, other doctor- so Will keeps pushing the party back. Some unlucky orderly asks Leo if he's Dr. Bickman, which he says he is, so Leo ends up scrubbing in to perform Mike's brain biopsy. He gets into the OR. HE MAKES THE FIRST CUT. Least. Secure. Psychiatric. Facility. EVER. Bickman gets there and performs Mike's and Leo's procedures back to back. Bickman makes a small mistake on Leo, and when he fixes it, says,
"Hit me with the score of the Knicks game, willya?"
Ali Wong and Superplumber check all the pipes without finding the ring, then it falls out of one they already checked.
"My preciousss..."
/make out
"That was very un-Lena."
"I could get into un-Lena."
Will's speech at the party is even more amazing than Ali Wong's geek love. He proclaims his undying love in a tone of voice usually reserved for "Both teams played hard. It was a tough game, woulda liked to come away with the W, but we're just gonna take it one game at a time and I'm gonna do whatever I can to help the team win." Catherine gets the ring back from Superplumber before Will notices it's gone, then Will dances. Aww yeeuh. The last scene looks like the intro of a Law & Order: SVU. Delilah sits outside the restaurant, creepily watching the goings on, tears of hatred for Catherine streaming down her face. Team Delilah, baby. That's a team I'd like to help win.
No comments:
Post a Comment