7:00 on a Wednesday. Time to do this again. The top 10 is supposably doing songs that previous Idol winners performed on the show, or later recorded. I mean, when you can invoke Colton Dixon one week and Scotty McCreery the next, how can that possibly fail? I like Amber Holcomb, I think Curtis Finch Jr. is good but he'll pick up tons of bad habits on this show, and Devin Velez and Angie Miller are the ones who bug me. Here goes. Nicki is not in attendance. She'll be there soon, though. Good. There's the top 10, and Curtis Finch, Jr. is wearing a Persian rug. I am already psyched.
Curtis is singing "I Believe" by Fantasia. I'm on board. All that stuff I said about bad habits came true, one right after another. I feel like he's going to stop singing and tell me to send money to his church any second. Urban: "Excellent. You always pick the right song. You look great." Randy: "Fly jacket. It's always this kind of thing from you, show me some other side." Mariah liked the choir. The Idol app users say 49% "Worse than last week." Yeah, that was kind of worse than everything... But in a way, also better than everything. I am entertained.
Here's Janelle Arthur, who's probably doing Carrie Underwood or some crap. She met Steven Tyler and a dude from Rascall Flatts and... you know what, that's it, I don't need to hear another word out of her mouth. I'm done with her. She's doing a song Scotty did ("Gone" by Montgomery Gentry), so... yeah. It's a vocal trainwreck even when compared to Scotty, which is like Jesus microwaving a burrito so hot he himself could not eat it. Urban says nothing. Nicki showed up, and she didn't like the type of song, which is great because Janelle was just saying how she wanted to be classic country, and then did a pop country song. Randy: wrong song. Mariah likes everything, I guess. Janelle says she got cotton-mouthed while singing. Probably doesn't matter. America is split pretty evenly on that performance, but those 34% who are saying "Better than last week" are also the ones who vote.
I do get to see a Carrie song, but it's Devin Velez singing it. He name drops Madonna and Lady Gaga when discussing Jimmy Iovine's career, and picks "Temporary Home", while making it clear he won't be singing in Spanish this time. I predict the judges hate this. It's bland, even for Idol. Oof. Urban: "Not one of your better performances, wrong song choice, didn't feel like you were confident in the song." Yup. Nicki: "I disagree with every single thing. You looked professional and sounded great." Randy: "Way too safe." Mariah is the new Paula Abdul, so I won't mention her if I can avoid it. That might be it for Devin, because America says you're getting worse and, um, not everybody who votes for Idol loves Lady Gaga and Madonna.
Angie Miller gets compared to a beauty queen by Jimmy Iovine, which is a very polite way of saying the truth. She's trying to sing Celine Dion as well as Kelly Clarkson did. As pointless as that whole exercise is, it gave her an excuse to let it rip. If seeing someone sing a Celine Dion song is your thing, then yeah, she's not murdering it. She's very aware of how she looks on camera but she hasn't learned how to make it seem effortless, and that's part of what annoys me about her. Urban: "You're such an artist, knocked it out of the park." Nicki: "You look like a billion dollars. I love the way you walk in heels. You're just perfection on every level." So this IS a modeling show! Randy: "The competition starts now! Yo! This girl is in it to win it! I think you could sing anything!" I think I just won cliche bingo and I wasn't even playing. America liked it too. I was kind of hoping for a crash and burn, but it'll happen eventually. Her elimination will make for great TV, one week.
Paul Jolley is an oversinger. Yeah, he's the country guy who doesn't do anything country... Until now! He's doing "Amazed" by Lonestar, which apparently Scotty did. Every song choice since Curtis has failed to live up to my unbelievably low expectations. And Paul oversings again. Urban liked it. Nicki talked for a long time to say he's hot and sang it well. Randy says he's been listening to criticisms. Still waiting for someone to tell him he's not a country singer. America said 72% "Better". If he's doing anything better, it's not for a definition of "better" I am familiar with.
Candice Glover's pretty good, and Seacrest is trying to make her cry before she has to sing. Classy! She's doing "I (Who Have Nothing)", which Jordin Sparks did in the first year I wasted watching this nonsense. This has a high ceiling, and I'm hoping it works.... I think it will get pimped all to hell, but this has zero subtlety. She powers every note, no restraint or vulnerability like Jordin Sparks had, no nothing. It showed off a great set of pipes, but it was irritating all the same. She'll be fine for this week, though. Urban is awed. Nicki is ready to retire the song in her honor. Randy: "One of the best performances of the season. Perfect." At this point Mariah goes on a little Grampa Simpson ramble. Well that was fun. America's instant reaction is predictably all positive-- hey, it's almost as if the people voting on this just echo what they hear from the judges.
Lazaro is singing "Break Away" by Kelly Clarkson-- really? Why?-- and we get to listen to him talk for a while. Then he comes out not wearing pink, and his lack of a power voice is showing up here. Bad, bad song choice the producers-- I mean, Lazaro-- made there. Urban makes him talk on live TV. This helps nobody. Nicki: "Probably my least favorite from you." Randy concurs, with just a couple unnecessary "yo"'s. Bottom 3, here we come.
Kree Harrison is doing "Crying" by Roy Orbison, a song Carrie did. Not the most boring choice, I'll give her that. This is the closest to enjoyable any performance has been since Curtis. She's singing the melody and she's into it, so yeah, I have no real objections. Urban: "You could sing the phone book; I would buy your record." Nicki calls her Harry and talks about waffles. What just happened here? Did I fall asleep and have a really boring dream? I kinda want waffles now. Randy: "From note one, I am in." Since I didn't hate that, I can only assume she's going home.
Burnell Taylor is going to pay homage to Ruben Studdard and do another R&B ballad, "Flying Without Wings". He's good. Not especially interesting to me, but good. Urban points out again that he has a unique voice. Nicki didn't like it, but talks herself into it in a matter of seconds. Did the producers put a chip in her brain? Everyone seems pretty lukewarm on Burnell, so he's got a shot at bottom 3.
Amber's got the whole package, and she's getting to sing Kelly Clarkson's Idol finale song. If everyone makes her the chosen one, yeah, she could still lose to Paul Jolley in the finals. They get the ol' wind machine going, which, like all wind machines ever, is unnecessary. Well done though. Nicki said it was the best of the night- audience didn't seem to really agree. She compares her to Whitney Houston, and that's fair. Randy name drops Kelly Clarkson, which didn't give anyone ANY new information at all. Then he said the girls killed the guys tonight.
So... Devin and Lazaro got thrown under the bus this week, and I'll go with Kree to round out the bottom 3, because whenever I enjoy a performance unironically on this show, it's bad news for the person who did it. Paul and Janelle both earned a spot in the bottom 3, but they probably won't get it. I don't see how Lazaro survives past tomorrow night.
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